For so many, this time of year is one of creating beautiful memories with family and friends. But for many people, this is a dreaded time of year. Pictures of beautifully decorated tables, happy families sharing a toast, children merrily opening gifts can open a door of depression for those who have recently lost a spouse or family member. Maybe this year you have no family nearby. Maybe you have no family. So how on earth are you expected to celebrate?
Here's how.
1. Plan Ahead. Be proactive in finding events that look like fun to you and go do them! How often do we get to play in snow in Florida?! Celebrate the event rather than be sad that you are alone. Who IS important in your life? A friend? A mentor? Make this holiday special by spending time with them.
2. Know Your Limits. Make your list of fun stuff to do actually doable for you! Exhaustion can increase depression so, instead, pick and choose what you'll do. If you do have a family that could be described as "ahem" dysfunctional, then limit the time you spend with them (or don't go at all.)
3. Serve Others. We can forget that there are so many less fortunate than we are. Sign up to serve at a local homeless shelter or safe house for abuse victims. You'll see faces of gratitude that will fill your heart and remind you that it's about giving.
4. Find Your Tribe. I love meetup.com. Many of my clients have created a friend family through meetups or through church or other organizations. You are NOT alone in your alone-ness. Search until you find others who would welcome you to be part of their celebrations.
5. Say No. This time of year we find ourselves surrounded by family, both healthy and unhealthy. You do not owe anyone your presence. If there is someone in your family that has hurt you terribly, you are not obliged to spend time with them. Enjoy those who love you and stay clear of those who would victimize you. By the way, the holiday celebrations are NOT the time to clear the air or resolve family disputes. Relax and enjoy and if it becomes too uncomfortable, say a gracious good-night and hit the road.
Holidays can be wonderful in many ways but they are also hectic and rushed and exhausting. I hope these tips help you this year to create the holiday memories you will cherish.
