Managing Anxiety: Some basics and some quick helps.

As a licensed therapist for more than 40 years, I've met my share of anxious people. Maybe the anxiety is generalized, maybe it's about speaking in public, feeling "not good enough", flying on planes, socializing. Anxiety is very common in 2025, but still it can show up in different ways for different people.

Knowing how common it is can help up avoid words like "crazy" and "messed up" among others.

Tip #1 - One simple and quick tip.

Hum. Okay, so sometimes you can't do this but often you can. Humming engages the parasympathetic nervous system, the one that calms us. Hum the birthday song or any other and feel your mind and body begin to relax.

Tip #2 - But why does this happen to me?

Our nervous system has both a "sympathetic" and "parasympathetic" function. When we need to get away from a threat our sympathetic nervous systemic brings up the adrenaline so we can run away. But sometimes our brain has imagined a danger or over estimated a danger so it kicks us into fight, flight, or freeze mode. If we are not in danger (sitting in a meeting, for example), we can use some quick tips to turn on the parasympathetic side of the nervous system and relax and focus on what's really happening in the moment.

"Dr. Tracey Marks, M.D., in her book entitled "Why Am I So Anxious?: Powerful Tools for Recognizing Anxiety and Restoring Your Peace  offers readers specific tips to manage anxiety.    (Hardcover – August 16, 2022)

Tip #3 - My story

I can remember feeling terrified having to enter a classroom as early as first grade. I would play sick to get my mom to keep me home. I would hesitate to walk into the classroom, feeling sure every eye was on me. I would avoid doing anything that brought attention to me. It was a terrible feeling and it happened day after day. That was a long time ago and we didn't know then what we now know about the causes of anxiety and methods for managing it.

Tip #4 - Anxiety has continued to rise since the Covid pandemic

Remember how scary it was during the Covid scare? Those counters on the TV screen of all the new cases, avoiding being any closer than six feet from people you knew and didn't know. Everything seemed dangerous and our fear only ramped up over time since the information on the virus was so confusing.

Tip #5 - Our brains and learning

Our brains learn by a combination of repetition and thoughts that are tied to emotions. For instance, I remember clearly wrapping my arms around the columns in front of my elementary school, crying and begging to go back home. I had clearly convinced myself that I was in danger. When we have experiences tied to strong emotion, especially if repeated, our brain hard-wires those in. Because our brain wants to protect us, it doesn't easily let go of those lessons. To unlearn we have to be able to walk through some of those memories while relaxing, and that takes some practice.

So how does this help?

Remember those quick tips we talked about? (There are SO many more!) Try them. Not once, but over and over (repetition) and you'll begin to notice changes.